it's tearing me apart, watching you leading a total different life. something which i least expected. then it struck me, "Maybe, I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere when it used to be only me and you." i remembered Cobb, from Inception, once said "She locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true... but chose to forget." and i wonder why, i decide to just stay stuck in between this dreaded mess which would only bury me deeper into this shallow world that i build.

i'm not helping myself in any way. and neither i am proud about it. i try very hard to live life like Miranda Priestly. but it's not really working, isn't it? i am not married, i don't own a top magazine company, i don't have twins and i don't even have two personal secretaries. maybe, it's just that the sense of aura that she gives off that i'm yearning for; everything negative, from rude, to boastful which ends up to obnoxious. and there was something behind this array of character which she displays; she wasn't really happy with her personal life. things started to crumble down. and i wanted to be her so bad. and still do. even though she was just a fictional character.

i guess i read too much. and the fact that my hope gets too high sometimes. who else do i have to blame, if it isn't myself? but what do you know? i'll probably still be here, whining about how sore my heart is, right now. well, i have nothing to lose, or do i? guess not.

goodnight, universe. xx